What does this picture make you think of? I took it on the 5th of September last year near our old house. It's an incredible image isn't it? Not the best sunset photo you'll ever see but there's something about that just screams serenity, if that's possible hehe. It reminds of things in this world that are of utmost importance. The first, and most important is, love. Everyone has love from somewhere. I have it from two little girls, parents and some fantastic friends that I don't see often enough. Grey has it from me (unrequited though it may be hehe), two little girls, and some good friends around the world. Our girls have love from us and pretty much anyone they come into contact with. Love is not taken for granted at their age. They want it, they need it and they will return it tenfold. Us adults tend to take love for granted don't we? It's really stupid because love is not something that is given on a whim, generally speaking. It is something that is felt with our entire being. Yet, we seem to be able to give and take it without thought. What's with that? You may think I'm talking about someone in particular, but I'm just rambling on here, thinking in random, sweeping generalisations.
This picture also makes me think that, while life may be short, we have every right to do what we want with it. Harm ye none, I think sums up the attitude we should have towards each other. There's too much pain in this world and while there are people who suffer much worse than anyone I know, it's hard to get the perspective on how much pain one can go through. I've felt pain, physical, emotional etc... so what? It shouldn't really matter to anyone. It's mine to deal with and as it's not affecting anyone, why should they let it bother them. Well, I think that is because most people actually care. I've always cared about people and most of my friends are also that way inclined. Caring about others on this world no matter where they are from, where they are, or where they are going. I used to care so much that it started affecting me in negative ways. I am back at that stage except that I have learnt to not let things affect me. If I am affected by things too much then I am useless to the people I care for and want to help. It's taken me a while to get here, but here I am. I remember dealing with a man with severe psychological issues. He was petrified of the psych ward at a local hospital, and churches. One day a friend of his had a mild heart attack and was taken to that hospital, I sat up with Dan in his caravan until 4 in the morning reassuring him that it would be alright to go and visit our friend. I spoke with many of his personalities that night, then, one came out that said he would go if I did. The next morning, being a Sunday, I asked him if he would like to go to a church (now, I know there is no reason why one has to go to a church, but there are so many reasons why one should not be afraid of them, and he was petrified, literally shaking as I asked him). He declined that plan and we went to the hospital. It took us one hour to walk 50 feet from the roadside to the front door, reassuring him all the way. As we entered, he turned about and started to head out. We had a cigarette and then re-entered. Through the lobby and to the lift, not a sign of the men in coats he was so scared would put him back inside. Up the elevator and into the ward to visit his friend and still, all clear. We stayed there for about an hour and a half and then left. He was totally calm as we left the building and so was I, I felt that I had done a good thing. The next Sunday, I took him to a church. There was the same hestitation that had occured at the hospital and then, afterwards as everyone was getting into tea, coffee and biscuits, relative calm. I had approached a few members of the church before hand and they went and introduced themselves to him and offered him biscuits which he ate voraciously.
Another thing he had a problem with was an altar that he had made. He claimed that he was being pursued by demons and angels and that they were a constant presence. This is due to some "dark magic" he said he had been involved in. The altar, I figured, was the source of his distress and so, over a couple harrowing nights, we decided that the best thing to do was to face it and then, destroy it. This we did, and i tell you now that to this day I have never seen such pain, anguish and sheer terror on a persons face. But, he prevailed and, together we overturned the altar and then after reassuring that it would cause him no more pain, we laughed at the wretched thing for a while before burning it and burying the ashes. This was an amazing time for me, and for him too i think. I had only known him a week as he was living at a caravan park that I was staying at while away working. A few days after the altar burning, I went to his caravan after work and it was empty. I asked the manager where he had gone and she had told me that he had moved back with his uncle (the target of many curses he had told me, and not deserving of any of them). I felt that this was a good sign at least. About 3 months later I recieved a letter from Dan saying that he had moved back to his uncle's house after begging forgiveness. He now had a job working as a greengorcers assistant and was putting his life back together. I don't know how much I had to do with that, if anything, but it feels good to maybe have helped someone that really needed it. I hope he hasn't ended up back in a psych ward since, that I may never know as we just sort of, lost touch, as people so often do.
So, I guess the thing I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter who it is that you can care about at any given time, as long as there is reason for you to be there, things will have a way ofjust working out. So, as we go through life, we just care for ourselves, and each other. That's what it's all about :)
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