The battle rages on...

Just throwing it out there...

Does anyone get the feeling that they're on the borderline of a complete mental breakdown?

I'm going to go ahead and answer that with a "yes".

I know that I am certainly not the only one.
I also know that many have much worse circumstances than I do.

Excuse me one moment.......

...
...
...

Just had to tell a couple Mormon "missionaries" to have some funking respect...

Now, where was I?

My problems are my own and I never intend to inflict them on others in any way. There are those that I can talk to and a few that have the ability to distract me and put a smile on my face. I rarely espouse deep feelings on Facebook or Twitter, occasionally on Tumblr as I don't see the need to throw my feelings to the wolves.

This blog has been an outlet on and off for many years and I use it because I don't think anyone reads it and that's fine with me.

I've always handled stress really well, depression not so much. I am not saying that I suffer from depression as most of the time I can drag myself up and try to keep positive. There was a time when I took Zoloft...never again. I went from depressed to, let's say, closet suicidal, until I completely stopped taking it against doctors orders. If I had listened to the doctor, chances are I would not be here today. This fact has never been told before, to the best of my memory, to anyone. I can keep secrets better than most but figure it can't hurt to let this one slide.

Getting back to now though, I have no such desire of self harm (another secret there that I will probably take to the grave) or suicide. I have far too much good in my life to let the negative hold sway, and win the war. This battle is on going but the last few months have been one of, if not the, hardest periods of my life.

Not going into details, as I said before, but when I am scrolling through this blog in a few years time I hope to be able to acknowledge that I have won the battle against myself, the hardest of all battles.