Blogger, old friend...
Probably the last friend.
Just remember you were there through some of the hardest times of the last...10 or so years.
I bread through some early posts the other day and came to some interesting conclusions.

1) I'm really not worth knowing
2) I'm a pretty shit person, really
3) I'm the reason people leave
4) I'm the reason I'm the way I am
5) I understand self-hatred pretty well and I thought it reached a peak when I was in high school, and again in 2005
6) I understand why people want nothing to do with me. I don't either.
7) I'm as much of a shit father as I was a shit son.
8) I have a tendency to hide my feelings too well and when I do let them out people get upset and I fuck things up yet again.
9) I wouldn't be better off dead, but anyone close to me would be.
10) I always put other people first because my feelings are unimportant.
11) it's a good thing I own no firearms.
12) it's potentially a bad thing that I own more knives than most commercial kitchens.
13) I do wish I was a better person.
14) I hope my daughter never ends up like me. I want her to have the best that life can offer.
15) I should stop kidding myself that I am good at anything. I really kind of suck at music and writing and all the things I wish I could do half as well as the tree I'm sitting next to.
16) people seem to think this kind of thing is just me feeling sorry for myself but I really don't feel sorry for myself. I own my fuck ups and my pathetic existence.
17) I can't remember if anyone follows this blog...probably not...I hope not.
18) depression has plagued me my whole life, something that I have really only ever admitted to one person.
19) I've always been able to identify with Robin Williams. Trying to make others laugh despite the inner turmoil within.
20) besides parents there is only one person that I truly believe has ever loved me absolutely. I currently live