These are the days of our lives

Today started out really good, then went to the crapper (forgive the crudity of that term, I am smiling at the moment and thought it appropriate). Then, thanks to two incredible little girls, went into super-happy overdrive mode. Our girls are amazing and I think for the first time I'm going to put a photo of them here, yes, here, on my wonderful little blog. It's the least I could do. I could put 5,000 photos of them on here, but that would take a while and I've got to go to work in four hours.
Just so you know, that's me in the middle. The sun was in our eyes of course because that's the first rule of photography- make sure your light source is intense and in the most inconvenient position for your subject/s. So, here we are in our pool, I was in and out because I had things to do such as getting the barbeque ready, cutting the potatoes and onions and starting the fire and other such things.
These two girls are the most important people in my life and although there have been times when I haven't been the best daddy in the world, I've always tried to be the best daddy in their lives. They both call me the 'best daddy in the world' and i love that but can't help think they are a little biased. They are both four, seven months apart and are the sweetest little sisters. They fight, they argue, the get over it and resume playing. They complain about things the other is doing or not doing and then... forgotten. They share most of the time they negotiate part of the time and the rest of the time it's a case of either stand back and let them sort it out or step in and be the bad guy until the time-out is over, hehe.
I have been looking back over the photos we've talen over the last three and a half years. They are such cute little bunnies and I love them more than life itself, which, really, is a bit of a paradox isn't it. There is nothing I won't do to make them happy. I realised that they are both in need of my attention about two months ago and, mostly, have been doing my best.
So, today, we had a barbeque. We've been to the park a few times lately and to the shops and things but, now that it looks like I might have to travel to another city everyday for work, I'll have a bus and train ticket that means I'll be able to take them there on the weekends. Unfortunately, work takes me away from them and I'm not able to spend as much time with them as I used and certainly not as much as I want to. I know this is a common thing, but being out of work for a few years just makes want the old ways back where I am there for them whenever they need me. They know they can call me at work and that always makes them happy when I remind them of that and Akayna has come to see me work a couple of times. One time however, I was at home on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Hehe, nervous breakdown, I've always been amused by that term. I am as far away from one of those now, a week later, than I have ever been. I am incredibly calm lately, and patient, like I used to be. It feels so nice. Not too much is going to phase me now, nothing could this afternoon, I was on cloud nine. As I always say, I was in my elephant. It's a stupid cliche thing, I like to modify them to make more sense, such as, never kick a gift horse in the face, or, a bird in the hand is worth two dollars seventy-five cents. That sort of thing. I usually twist normal sayings around so, with cliches, I twist them to be a little more literal, except the 'I'm in my elephant' one, that's just well, you know...

I know that every dad is proud of his kids but I think that I am the luckiest dad in the world. I get told I'm loved many times a day, I get numerous kisses and cuddles, I get followed around as if I know something very important and there are times when daddy's word is sacrosanct, almost god-like (this is something they will learn to discern better as they get older hehe).
They love their TV and movies, they love their books, they love their toys, they love their pets, they love each other, they love their daddy, and I love them... until the end of time.

While I think of it, I played a song for Grey this morning which is by far the most accurate account of my feelings. It's called 'Only A Moment Away' by Nelson and the chorus goes thusly:-

"I'll be your friend when you need one to turn to.
Just call out my name and I'll always be there.
Wherever you go, just remember I love you.
Whenever you start to feel the pain.
I'm only a moment away".

An apt little ditty that one :)

Speaking of songs, I made her a playlist for WinAmp around early September. I don't know if she's ever listened to it or even if she knows it's there but I have told her. It's a whole heap of songs from me to her, including the number one "only use this once" song. When I was fifteen I heard a song by Chicago called "You're The Inspiration". I decided that I would hold on to that song until I found someone that truly was "the one" and was my inspiration. Well, I think it was Valentines day 2003 that I sat her down on the bed and brought in the cd player and we played songs for ages, then, out of the blue I told her the story and played her the song. She was, you know, touched and stuff :) So, there you go, I've used that song now, i can never use it again, that would be against the rules I set. The only other one I gave that status is White Lion's "Till Death Do Us Part" which I gave to her that same night. So, forever, they belong to her. There are many songs in the playlist simply titled "For My Love" including such luminaries as "If I Had $1,000,000" by the Barenaked Ladies, "Just The Way You Are" by Billy Joel, "The Closer You Get", by Dido (a song she said summed us up very well once), "Can't Take My Eyes Off You", the Manic Street Preachers version and "Till There Was You" and "Something" by the Beatles. There's many, many more as well of course but I don't need to metion all of them. Currently there is a rather different setlist however. The very top of the list is as follows however: Blessid Union Of Souls' "The Rest Of My Life", Dido's "White Flag" (which used to be her song to me), Cake's "Take It All Away" and "World Of Two" (she decided that one was apt), Chicago's "Hard To Say I'm Sorry" and "Hard Habit To Break", Sugar's "If I Can't Change Your Mind" Ben Lee's "Gamble Everything For Love", Nelson's "Interlude/Everywhere I Go" Yngwie Malmsteen's "Save Our Love" Def Leppard's "Two Steps Behind" (which is the perfect anthem for all those twisted stalker types out there, but in fact has a deeper meaning hehe) and the list goes on.... Every now and again, my hope takes a beating but it is very soon restored. I have a lot of hope, swimming hopefully through my veins. They say blood is thicker than water and you know what? It is, I've tested that theory. I guess it's not a theory anymore, just an extremely accurate saying. My love never takes a beating, that's impossible and there is nothing I can think would make me fall out of love with her. Nothing she has done, and nothing she could do. I think I've said that before though. Still, I like the sound of my own typing so, I'll repeat myself ad nauseum if that's ok with you all.

So yeah, where was I.... oh yeah, my girls. They're the best!!! Anyone ever says differently and I'll slap 'em down with a soggy wet fish. Maybe a mackerel.

I don't know if you've noticed but the way I write has gone back to normal a little. My writing style, while not unique, is what seperates me from the people who can't write at all, hehe. I've been writing a bit lately as well and my other blog is back in action now. I have plans to do more writing and, when I get my own computer, will be writing most of the time I'm not at work or with the girls or playing music. This means that soon, The Free Radicals and The Elysian Fields will be back in action. I've been playing the guitar a lot lately too, not so much the piano as I get frustrated because it needs some tender loving care that will cost about $700. I've never heard an upright piano with the tone to equal mine and so, now that it has several keys that stick, it's a little depressing at times. Every now and then I force myself to not care though and I play away happily to myself.

Well, time for me to stop rambling on, rambling rose. I will talk to you all soon I know. Oh and by the way, anyone that uses a microphone on MSN, Yahoo, ICQ, etc, there's one here that I can use. The only thing is, don't expect me to stop writing in messengers chats. When I talk, things go wrong. This is a proven fact. That's why I write. I am far more comfortable with a pen in my hand than a foot in my mouth, so to speak.

Think well of me my friends, I think well of all of you. You are constantly in my thoughts.

Oh, and if anyone wants a picture of me, just send a IRC to me with GBP36 and I will email you a 1024x768 jpg file that you can put on your desktop or print out and put on your desk or dart board ;) I'd love to know that I was on dart boards around the world. There's probably a few that I'm on somewhere but I don't think anyone remembers me long enough to truly hate me. Hee hee hee. God, I feel good right now. Oh, and in the words of Billy Joel :-

"These are the times to remember
Cause they will not last forever
These are the days to hold on to"
Cause... blah blah blah, so on and so forth. Hehe.

"You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may wrong for all I know
But you may be right"

Go Billy, may the piano bring you many more years of joy... and, could I have one of your old Steinway's please? :)

One more picture of the girls to brighten everyone's day as they brighten mine :)

Awwww, aren't they the cutest!!!!!!!!